The Invasion

When food and climate conditions are favourable they may swarm then settle. They are a sudden destructive influence. You may be picturing swarming locusts, descending on lush, green pastures; stripping it bare of anything that can be devoured. My voracious feeders are not insects but rather two young men home from college, my son and his friend. The effect was the same as invading, voracious insects.

Take your eyes of the game and there goes the avocado for the evening’s salsa; now on toast with the tomato you had set aside for pizza. Their afternoon snack of biscuits and dip turned into a feast for kings with the addition of the sharp cheddar, homemade relish and pesto. Litres of milk a vehicle for the new tin of milo then the final straw, the gourmet ice-cream purchased to go with Easter Sunday desert.  It leaves me standing – gobsmacked.

They stayed a week, cleaned out the fridge, pantry and freezer and have left again. I have been told the conditions will be favourable for another swarm in early May. This time not two but a hoard and will consist of music festival attendees. So I have two questions for you: 1. What food stores should I lay stock to in preparation for the impending invasion? And 2.what is the collective noun for a group of hungry college students who are never sated?

18 thoughts on “The Invasion

  1. What a great image – you have to see young men in action to realize how voracious their appetites can be. My son used to just open the refrigerator doors and stand there as he swarmed into the house…and then start eating….until he left!

  2. A humorous piece Anne :)
    My favorite sentence was “I have been told the conditions are favorable for another swarm in May”
    I remember ransacking the cupboards and fridge each night after school with my siblings. Mmmm yummy cheese toasties were a favorite for quite a while!
    I am still pondering a suitable collective noun…

  3. *wipes tears of mirth from my eyes*

    My post was also about boys today, but my boys are thankfully still young enough to not eat me out of house and home.

    My suggestion for food? CHEAP. Honestly, they don’t care what it is they are eating, so don’t invest any more time and/or money in the pantry than absolutely necessary.

  4. I have daughters, not sons, who are a little milder because they are always watching what they eat. But I often hear, “There is nothing to eat in this house!” At least you seemed to provide something. I love the metaphor of a swarm of hungry insects. You gotta love adult children, though.

  5. Love this piece, having gone through it MANY times. You described it perfectly. I think the word swarm is the perfect word, but the “inhalers” is what I always think of. And I agree with Maria–cheap is the only way to go with food. They barely taste what goes in their mouth anyway. Better start stocking up now

  6. This made me laugh…this is exactly how I feel when my son comes home from college – I can’t keep the pantry stocked fast enough! Good thing that you know: conditions will be favourable for another swarm in early May…..they will be back!

  7. This: “swarm then settle” — I had to say it out loud. I love the way the words work together to tickle my tongue and set an image in my mind.

    My sister-in-law insists it’s impossible to prepare for hungry boys — no matter how much she buys, they eat it all. Therefore, she settles for several grocery trips throughout the week! :)
    Happy writing,

  8. Gobsmacked, that’s a new word for me and I think I will need to use it in conversation with friends in the near future. Your description of the invaders was hilarious. I’m still laughing as I reread.

  9. I love the word gobsmacked…I am going to put it in my collection of words…the collective noun-hmmm-vultures come to mind…eating just about anything and everything…Food store to hit-not sure…what’s in your area?

  10. You described this situation so well – and now I have mixed feelings about my own son’s visit home next weekend. He is bringing friends…. I agree that CHEAP is the best kind of food to provide!

    • You are welcome:) – and thank you for the great resources, books, poems and ideas you share through your blog.

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